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The slot in the school diary referring to Ping, a fourth grader coming from China, ought to include his parentsī telephone number. Instead, it has the phone number of his motherīs acquaintance. Neither his mother nor father speak Finnish or English. In order to understand each other, his teacher and parents need an interpreter. However, itīs not possible to summon an interpreter when the teacher wishes to tell them about a sports day which is due the following day. Thatīs why the teacher calls up Pingīs motherīs acquaintance, who, in turn, rings his mother. Now there are more and more children like Ping in Finnish schools. Children tend to learn a language quickly and end up being interpreters, but how can a teacher and parents solve problems concerning a childīs behaviour in case the child has to act as an interpreter while being the topic of the conversation? Itīs far worse when the parents arenīt able to help their child with his or her homework. In spite of being highly educated, they feel helpless if they canīt find out what they are aiming at. The children feel they arenīt understood at home because their parents can neither understand the teachers nor the rules of their new home country. The children are puzzled about their parentsī rules and religious customs which deviate from those applied at school. They would like to adapt and be accepted in a group. However, their home and the life outside of it differ from each other to such an extent, that it becomes a burden and a source of crises to the children. Once the child becomes a guide helping his parents cope in the outside world, he also becomes an authority. At the same time, his parents lose their own respect and authority. *** Schools with a large number of immigrant children may employ teachers speaking Somali or Russian who help to build a bridge between cultural differences. My daughter used to be the only pupil with a Polish background in her school. A Polish teacher, married to a Finn, taught at the same school. Despite the many problems the child confronts when adapting to the Finnish reality, it didnīt occur to anybody to provide her with a chance to talk about her problems in her mother tongue. The Polish teacher wasnīt a special needs teacher whose duties would have included this. In mixed marriages, the Finnish speaking parent has to maintain relations with the school. Within a short period of time, even children learn to talk about matters, related to school, with their Finnish parent, and little by little their foreign parent starts feeling useless. At the same time this parent loses his childrenīs respect especially when they reach teenage years. At that age nothing is more important than being accepted by their own age group. The children do their best to prevent their parents from having anything to do with their teachers or friends. The children feel ashamed of their parents like my children did. They asked me not to even try and speak Finnish in the presence of their teachers and friends. Now that the Finnish language is my work tool, their attitude is still condescending, protecting and patronising. They often take charge of matters ”because you wouldnīt understand...”. They still donīt trust my ability to understand some things. *** But a language and culture arenīt the only distinguishing factor between parents and teachers. It can also be information technology. Nowadays I can hardly imagine a school without the chance to keep in touch through the web. Parents can check their childrenīs real-time absences and, if need be, they can send e-mails to teachers without having to meet or call them up. Indeed, this is efficient, but learning to use the system wasnīt quite as simple as I had expected even though the computer is my own instrument. What about parents who havenīt got a computer? The number of personal relationships decreases, due to the computer. Using mobiles and the Internet will lead to a situation in which the childrenīs friends are anonymous. The parents donīt know where and with whom their child spends his time. Moreover, the parents of other children remain distant. *** Anyone with a tool to keep in touch has the power. Children understand this straight away. The youth starts filtering the flow of information between school and parents. This is how they escape from both the school and home. When they reach their adolescence, their excessive independence suddenly bursts out like a volcano. Itīs no wonder that clients using social welfare services are mainly young people who were born in immigrant or mixed marriages. The writer is a Polish media professional. Back |
